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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27218857">I'm not gonna leave you behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/experimentative_writer/pseuds/experimentative_writer'>experimentative_writer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>With you holding my hand, I can shout a bigger dream [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(eventually) - Freeform, (spoiler not spoiler), Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Annoying Seo Changbin, Bang Chan is Whipped, But not sexual, Caregiver! Chan, Caregiver! Minho, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Little Space, Little! jisung, Lots of Crying, M/M, Minho best mom, Multi, Mutual Pining, Non-Sexual Age Play, Pacifier - Freeform, Platonic Lee Felix/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Slight denial of feelings, because i love them, brief mention of polyamorous relationships, but they are still in a relationship, feat. Changbin's aegyo, it's basically blink and you miss it, like an insane amount, little! felix, petnames, the triple and changbin are barely present I'm sorry, they're both obvious but they're dumb, tw: anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:01:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27218857</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/experimentative_writer/pseuds/experimentative_writer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sighing resolutely, Chan knocked on the door and waited for an answer. When none came, he decided to test the door handle and realised it was unlocked. ‘If they had wanted more privacy, they would have locked it, right?’ Chan thought to himself. He brought his ear closer to the door to catch any noise coming from the studio and only caught laughs. ‘It shouldn’t be too bad if I come in.’ The oldest reasoned before opening the door. </p><p>	Chan didn’t know how he expected to find the boys. </p><p>	But he certainly wasn’t expecting Felix on Minho’s lap on the ground sucking on a pacifier. </p><p> </p><p>Or </p><p>Felix is a little and hides it from everyone except Minho and Jisung. Chan finds out, Felix freaks out, things get figured out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>With you holding my hand, I can shout a bigger dream [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>171</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm not gonna leave you behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi there! It's my first time publishing anything for this fandom, I'm very excited but also very nervous :') </p><p>I've been working on this since the end of July and I had to rewrite most of it when some events happened (you know what I mean). I had all those ideas, but wasn't satisfied with my work until now! I could never thank my bestfriend/soulmate enough for helping me through the process and encouraging me &lt;3 Love you so much kitten &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p>English is not my first language and there might be some mistakes, I apologize in advance D: </p><p>(Edit 12/15/20) (Can't believe I forgot to put it)<br/>!!!TW!!! Lots of anxiety and crying. Like. A lot. No actual panic attacks though. I don't recommend reading this if these are triggering for you. </p><p> </p><p>If it helps;<br/>The relationships are; MinSung, InMinJin/ChangJin (Seungmin, Jeongin, Hyunjin and Changbin are a in a poly relationship, but Changbin is only in a relationship with Hyunjin, while InJinMin are a triple) (this is very minor though, sorry)</p><p>The rooms are; Hyunjin/Seungmin/Jeongin, Chan/Felix/Changbin and Minho/Jisung. </p><p> </p><p>Anyways, enjoy! ~</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from 'Easy' by Stray Kids (obviously haha)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As soon as Felix woke up, he already knew it would be a bad day. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Actually, it was Chan that woke Felix up, slightly harsher than both of the boys would have liked, but the younger hadn’t woken up with his alarm and they were almost late to practice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix?” Chan’s stern voice had immediately brought Felix back to consciousness, the younger quickly sitting up and looking around the room to find that everyone else was already up.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “You’re not even up? What are you doing, we’re leaving in five, let’s go.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> The leader sighed slightly exasperated, leaving the room as quickly as he had come in. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As Felix rushed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, he couldn’t help but feel his mind getting ‘fuzzy’, a tell-tale sign of him wanting to slip; the stern tone his leader had used, combined with the fact that he hadn’t been able to properly regress for the last three weeks </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>the fact that he was beyond stressed for their upcoming comeback put him in a more vulnerable state. However, the younger brushed the feeling aside, knowing he only had to endure it until tomorrow, when Minho had freed their schedules in the afternoon so Felix and Jisung could regress as much as he wanted, pretexting a long due rap lesson before promo.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Exactly five minutes later, Felix rushed in the living room to find the other members, all getting ready to get into the vans. Seeing the younger Australian arrive, their manager motionned the eight boys to separate into the vans, Felix ending up with Chan, Minho and Jeongin. Before he could call dibs to sit beside Chan, though, the leader sat in the back next to Minho, discussing some things for the new choreo. Felix bit his bottom lip; he knew he could ask Minho to trade places, but his mind told him he shouldn’t, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that a good boy wouldn't complain </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that he already caused too much trouble by waking up late</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Sighing, Felix finally got into the van, opting to sit behind their manager and look through the window while the two others made conversation. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Nearing the half of the ride, Felix’s stomach rumbled loudly, reminding the boy he hadn’t taken the time to grab something to eat before leaving. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Great</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He clutched at his stomach and sighed, knowing he would have to endure the hunger for a while since they had to learn a new choreography in the morning, meaning they wouldn’t have long enough breaks for him to run to the cafeteria and buy something until lunch. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just what he needed to make the start of his day even better. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A soft pat on his shoulder made Felix turn in Jeongin’s direction, the youngest sitting right beside him. Jeongin smiled at Felix and motionned for him to grab something he was holding in his hand. Looking down, Felix smiled at the youngest and thanked him before he took the muffin he was given, happily munching on it for the rest of the trip. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The new choreo wasn’t particularly hard for Felix to learn; Minho, Hyunjin and himself had helped create the dance for ‘Easy’, meaning it was easier for the dance line to grasp the moves and help the other members when the dance teacher was busy helping someone else or teaching a particular move. They learned the choreo slowly but surely and, by the middle of the morning session, they already had most of the choreo done. Finally, the teacher called for a long awaited fifteen minutes break, all the boys sighing in relief and slumping all around the practice room. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Felix was about to take a seat beside Minho, Chan, Jisung and himself were called by the teacher. Repressing an exasperated sigh, he walked to the woman, waiting for the two others to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” she started once Chan and Jisung arrived, turning to the younger, “Felix, remember when you said it felt like something was missing during your part?” When Felix nodded, she continued, “Well, we thought we could add a little something. Both of you”, she motioned to the two other boys, “would be in the middle, behind Changbin, facing each others like this.” She demonstrated the position, one arm folded at chest level and the other arm stretched in front of her. “Your hand”, she motioned to her extended hand, “will be holding onto the other's forearm. You would lift Felix on your arms and sway him from sides to sides like this." She demonstrated the move and both boys nodded in understanding. The teacher clasped her hands together. “Good! Want to try now? We’ll be adding it to the choreo after the break.” They nodded once more, following the teacher where mats had been placed on the floor to practice the move safely (not that it was particularly dangerous, but better safe than sorry). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The teacher instructed Chan and Jisung their position once more, which was fairly easy to be honest, so it didn’t take long. Then, she showed Felix how to get into his position, his hands steadying himself on Chan and Jisung's shoulders. By the position alone, sitting in the two boys' arms, Felix could feel his ‘little side’ nudging his mind; he just felt so </span>
  <em>
    <span>small, light </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>vulnerable </span>
  </em>
  <span>like this, Jisung and Chan supporting his weight like it was nothing. The feeling was even stronger because it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chan</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing it, the older always making Felix </span>
  <em>
    <span>smaller, </span>
  </em>
  <span>even without meaning it, by the way he constantly took care of Felix like he was something fragile and </span>
  <em>
    <span>precious</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, both to steady himself mentally </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>physically, Felix felt himself being lifted and-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The lift hadn’t lasted more than a few seconds, but it was more than enough for Felix to feel himself unwillingly fall deeper into his headspace. The way the two had lifted him, the way </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chan hadn’t even made an effort </span>
  </em>
  <span>while lifting Felix just reinforced the younger’s mind telling him he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>small</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He must have disconnected from reality for a few seconds too long, because, the next thing he knew, Chan’s worried face appeared in front of his own, making him snap out of his trance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-lix? Lixie? Everything alright? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you hurt?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix stared back at Chan for a moment, the oldest looking at him worriedly. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t slip. Not right now. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>But Felix knew it was too late. He no longer had control over it, the stress of the comeback with the day’s previous events making him slip without him wanting to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath, trying once more to steady himself enough so he could answer without breaking into tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Y-yeah..</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he mumbled, opening his eyes but avoiding Chan’s. “I’m good…” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan didn’t look convinced of his answer, frowning at Felix’s words, but before he could question the younger further, the teacher clasped her hands together and announced loudly that the break was over and asked the boys to get back into their last positions. Felix took the opportunity to slip from Chan’s worried glance and went back to his previous position, ignoring the oldest but feeling his stare on his back. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix tried to keep himself from slipping even more. He really did.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>But it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he could feel himself closer and closer to tears each time he messed up a move and the teacher would point it out, shouting over the music to start again. And again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And again.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t help that he could feel Chan’s worried eyes on his back, watching over him continuously. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After half an hour, Felix felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. By now, his eyes were filled with tears and, if Chan had noticed the boy’s state previously, he now saw how worse it got everytime the teacher stopped them to correct Felix. As the leader went to say something, anything to give Felix a break, the teacher announced (not without sighing loudly and pinching the bridge of her nose) that, since they now knew all the choreo, she would leave them to practice and come see them later this week. Thanking her, the boys bowed before sighing loudly once she was out of the room, exhausted after learning the new choreo. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Chan could move, much to the group’s surprise, Minho quickly made his way to Felix and pulled him aside. Chan made a move in their direction, but stopped himself when he saw Felix break into a sob and Minho wrap his arms tightly, protectively, around him. The leader’s heart broke at the sight; since the break, he had noticed Felix avoiding his stare, looking anywhere but in Chan’s direction. He couldn’t help but feel guilty, knowing something was wrong and that he probably was the cause; Felix’s behavior did change after they practiced the lift. But </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he do exactly? Chan ignored it, feeling his heart clench at the sight of his sunshine breaking down in tears. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The older dancer whispered some things to Felix and pulled away after a few seconds to turn in the group’s direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We're going for a lunch break, guys. Chan hyung, we’re using your studio. Back in an hour.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho wrapped his arms around Felix again and pulled him out of the room, the younger letting himself be dragged out of there. Chan opened his mouth to say something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but quickly closed it, deciding against it. He could only frown and look at the two exit the room, worry deep inside his chest: it was his job as a leader to take care of his members, but Felix had seemed so uncharacteristically uncomfortable with him earlier that he felt like maybe it was a good thing Minho had acted before him, even if the thought hurt him deeper than he thought it would. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When the teacher finally left and Minho had rushed to him, Felix felt like a dam had broke inside him. He could no longer hold back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes, opting to lean toward Minho to be held. Thankfully, the older got the message and quickly wrapped his arms around the younger's smaller frame, feeling as his body shook from his sobs. </span>
</p><p><em><span>"</span></em><span>Lixie, are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself, baby?"</span> <span>Minho whispered, worry deep in his tone even if he tried to hide it. Slowly, he felt Felix shake his head and Minho couldn't help but sigh in relief. </span></p><p>
  <span>"Alright</span>
  <em>
    <span>."</span>
  </em>
  <span> The older nodded before asking a question to which he was almost sure of the answer. "Baby, did you slip?"</span>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>" </span></em><span>'m s-sorry..."</span> <span>Felix said after a few seconds, his body still shaking from sobs. </span></p><p><span>"Oh, kitten, it's alright. It's not your fault.”</span> <span>Minho held Felix even tighter against him and rubbed his back soothingly. </span><span>“You had a rough morning, hm? How about we go in Chan’s studio for a bit, just the two of us, would you like that?" When Felix nodded, Minho turned to the rest of the group. </span></p><p>
  <span>“We're going for lunch break, guys. Chan hyung, we’re using your studio. Back in an hour.” He then proceeded to gently navigate Felix to the studio, arms still wrapped around him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho could sense Chan's eyes on their back as they exited the room and he knew the oldest had questions but, for now, he had to take care of Felix. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone watched as the two dancers made their way out of the room. They all had seen Felix starting to cry and they couldn't help but worry about their sunshine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright," Chan's voice finally broke the silence, a sigh escaping him, "let's go eat." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seungmin was the first to move, bending to grab his phone and wallet in his bag, which spurred the others to follow. Chan sighed in relief when all of them started to grab their things and walk to the cafeteria; he wasn’t in the mood to talk about what had just happened, so he was thankful nobody complained or asked questions, questions to which he felt he didn’t even have answers. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone ate in almost complete silence, all too hungry to try and make conversation; the dance lesson of the morning had exhausted them and they didn’t really have time for snacks during the short breaks the teacher gave them. Once they were done all but inhaling their food, they decided to hang out in the cafeteria since they still had some time left. Seungmin, Jeongin, Changbin and Hyunjin were conversing together while Chan checked some things on his phone. Jisung was uncharacteristically quiet, which drew the others’ attention, but they knew better than to question the boy in the middle of the cafeteria. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>In fact, since he had seen Felix being visibly upset after the break, Jisung couldn’t help but feel upset too; he hated when the others weren’t feeling well, even more so when it came to Felix. Slowly, as the practice went on, Jisung had realised Felix had slipped and the older had to fight his urge to slip too, knowing it wasn’t the time nor the place. Thankfully, Minho had noticed too and Jisung was relieved to see their caregiver take care of the situation once the teacher left. Jisung still couldn’t stop thinking about the australian boy though. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho texted the group soon after, saying Felix wasn’t feeling well and that they were taking the afternoon off. A small awkward silence settled in the group, all the boys worried about Felix. Changbin wanted to ask Chan what was going on, but he could feel that his leader was as troubled as the rest of them, if not more, about the situation. Changbin sighed and put his phone away, deciding to bother Jeongin with aegyo to lift the group’s mood. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung smiled when he received a text from Minho just after the older had texted the group, asking if he was alright. The young rapper texted back, stating he was fine if a little ‘slippery’, but he could make it through the day. Minho quickly answered and said that, if it got too much, he could come see them in Chan’s studio. ‘Will do xx See you later &lt;3’ Jisung sent before putting his phone away.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jisung looked up at the group, he noticed Chan was missing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where's hyung?" He asked with a frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He went to check up on Minho and Felix." Jeongin answered, to which Jisung's eyes widened in slight panic. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Jisung quickly got up, his chair almost flying backward as he did. Everyone turned to look at him questioningly and the rapper momentarily froze before mumbling a "toilet" and running in the direction of Chan's studio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe, hopefully, if he was quick enough, he could intercept Chan before he got there.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, Minho and Felix didn’t encounter a single soul on the walk to Chan’s studio. The older sighed in relief when he typed the code to the studio’s door, gently pushing Felix inside before following him and closing the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix was still crying as much as he did before they left the practice room and Minho felt his heart clench at the sight of the usually bright and happy boy feeling so bad. He led the younger to one of the two couches in the room, sitting down on it before pulling Felix to him. The younger easily complied, making his way onto Minho’s laps and resting his head in the crook of his neck. Felix felt the other wrap his arms around his smaller frame and delicately rub his back as his body shook from his cries. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>With a lot of soothing whispers, forehead kisses, hugs and back rubs, Felix finally stopped crying. He continued sniffing lightly while he stayed in Minho’s arms contentedly, the older rocking them slightly while humming a soft song. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A moment later, Minho pulled away from the other boy lightly to look at him; his eyes were puffy from the crying and his cheek a bright red, still covered in tears. Minho smiled softly at Felix before reaching and wiping the remaining tears away, the younger looking at him with big eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There,” Minho whispered with a gentle smile “all done.” He poked Felix’s nose, making the little smile lightly. They stared at each other for a moment, Minho moving a hand to cup and stroke Felix’s cheek. The younger leaned into the touch, a soft smile on his lips as he eyed his caregiver. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as he didn’t want to trigger the younger into another crying fit, Minho needed to know what had triggered Felix to slip so badly into his headspace; he was well aware of Felix’s triggers, but honestly didn’t notice any ‘major’ ones before the younger had slipped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kitten?” Felix looked at him curiously, tilting his head as he waited for the older to continue. “Did something happen? You seemed to be fine this morning, but you weren’t after the break.” He asked softly, not wanting Felix to think he was mad (because he was not, far from it), but signaling that he wanted to understand. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix blushed at Minho’s question, the reason for his slipping embarrassing him: Chan had always made Felix feel small by the way he acted towards him, always so gentle and caring, making the younger slip without even realising it sometimes, but he usually was better to handle his headspace around the oldest. Of course, Minho knew the effect the older Australian had on Felix, but it still embarrassed him to talk about it. (They also both knew the feelings Felix had for the older weren’t exactly platonic, having talked about it a few times, so talking about Chan always left Felix a little flustered.) </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T-the new move..” Felix answered sheepishly after a moment, avoiding Minho’s eyes. “W-with Channie hyungie..” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minho nodded with a small ‘ah’ escaping him, now understanding what had triggered the younger; being lifted and carried always made Felix feel small and he had seen said move Felix was referring to, so it was no surprise he had slipped, combined with all of the morning’s events, the stress of the comeback and the lack of time to regress in the last few weeks (plus, the fact that said move was done with Chan, of all people.)</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘m sorry…” Felix sniffed once more as tears started to gather in his eyes again. </span>
</p><p><span>“No, baby, it’s alright.” Minho was quick to reassure him, gently stroking his cheek before leaving a quick peck on his forehead. “It’s not your fault, sweetheart. I should have found time for you to be little in the last weeks. I’m sorry, kitten.”</span> <span>Minho smiled apologetically and moved a hand to stroke Felix’s hair. </span></p><p>
  <span>“No.” Felix shook his head before leaning forward and leaving a quick kiss on Minho’s lips, taking the older by surprise. “Not... Mommy’s fault.” Felix crossed his arms over his chest determinedly with a small blush, leaving no room for Minho to argue. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho internally (intensely) cooed at the younger’s cuteness as a smirk made its way on his lips. He wrapped both of his arms back around Felix’s small waist, tugging him gently against his chest. Felix happily let himself be pushed into their previous position, resting his head against Minho’s chest after the older kissed his forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, baby. It’s nobody’s fault then</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Felix hummed happily, content to be against Minho’s chest, wrapped tightly in his arms. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They kept hugging for a while, both boys relaxing against each other. The older dancer knew it would be better if he let Felix regress for a while since he was triggered into slipping, so he took his phone and texted the group that Felix wasn’t feeling well and that they would take the afternoon off, that if they needed him, he would be in Chan’s studio but to text him beforehand. Minho then looked down at Felix, the younger raising his eyes to meet his gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want to do, kitten? We have the afternoon off.” The dancer smiled at Felix, cooing when the younger frowned in concentration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…I wanna dwaw pwetty pictuwes fow Mommy.” Felix answered with a slight blush on his cheeks. The older cooed even harder, this time out loud, the blush on Felix’s cheeks darkening, but Minho couldn’t help himself: he was way too cute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, baby. Let me get you your stuff</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Minho gently switched places with Felix, deposing him on the couch as the older dancer got up to take a small bag of ‘little stuff’ he kept with him all the time in his bag, just in case. The younger pouted at the loss of contact. Minho laughed fondly as he retrieved the bad, bringing it next to the couch. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as he opened it, Felix’s face lit up and the boy made grabby hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woo!” He exclaimed happily and Minho couldn’t deny the boy, giving him his stuffed kangaroo Chan had given him after a trip in Australia. (If only the leader knew how dear the plushie was to Felix…) Felix hugged the plushie tightly and rubbed his face against the soft material, Minho smiling at him fondly as he did so. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Grabbing another item from the bag, Minho showed it to Felix who nodded before opening his mouth. Huffing a laugh, Minho brought a green pacifier with a koala on it to Felix’s lips, the younger instantly taking it and sucking on it (it was the first thing Minho had bought to Felix once he had become his caregiver, the animal reminding him, first of all, of the younger’s birthplace and, also, reminding him of how clingy Felix could be, in and out of headspace). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The dancer then brought something else out of the bag and Felix instantly blushed when he saw it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No need. Bi’ boy.” He mumbled against Roo’s (the plushie) stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just making sure</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Minho smiled at the younger boy, putting the pull-up away; they were more for Jisung anyway, as Felix rarely had accidents. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho finally took the crayons, sheets and coloring books out, Felix making a happy noise as he sat down on the floor next to Minho to grab it. The younger grabbed the crayons and the sheets, leaving the coloring books aside for now. Felix motionned Minho to sit with his back against the couch and settled between the older’s legs, his back pressed against Minho’s chest. The dancer wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist, hugging him as the little started to draw. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Felix hummed pensively, then looked at Minho seriously while pointing at him with a finger. “No look</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Minho raised both hands in defence and pointedly looked at the ceiling, but Felix decided to turn around instead so he was facing Minho, still sitting on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning his eyes back on the little, Minho watched as Felix focused on his drawing while gently rubbing his thighs. They would sometimes catch each other's stare, Felix looking up at Minho for a moment before smiling and going back to his drawing. While Felix was occupied, Minho decided to check on Jisung and was relieved when the younger said he was fine and that they would see each other later. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment, Felix finally dropped his crayon and looked at his drawing proudly. He looked at Minho from above his drawing and blushed when he saw the older looking at him expectantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-hewe Mommy</span>
  <em>
    <span>…" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Felix blushed even more while he extended the sheet in Minho's direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For me?" Minho asked, pointing at himself with a 'surprised' expression before smiling. "Thank you, sweetheart.</span>
  <em>
    <span>" </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho took the drawing from the little's hands, the younger lowering his gaze with a sheepish smile and playing with the hem of his shirt. Minho turned the page to look at it and cooed loudly when he saw what Felix had drawn: it was the two of them (and Roo) holding hands with Jisung, surrounded by flowers and trees. </span>
</p><p><em><span>"</span></em><span>Aw, kitten..."</span> <span>Minho leaned forward and tightly hugged Felix, the dancer letting out pleased noises and laughs as his caregiver covered his face in kisses. "This is so, so pretty. You did such a good job baby, Mommy's gonna keep it preciously."</span> <span> Minho said, continuing to kiss all over the younger's face. </span></p><p>
  <span>"Mommy</span>
  <em>
    <span>… " </span>
  </em>
  <span>Felix laughed and tried to get away from Minho. "Stop.. tickles!</span>
  <em>
    <span>" </span>
  </em>
</p><p><em><span>"</span></em><span>Yeah? Does it, now?"</span> <span>The older answered playfully, quickly running his hands over Felix's ribs while holding him in place. The little could only laugh and wiggle into Minho’s grip, the dancer tickling him mercilessly.  </span></p><p>
  <span>"M-mommy</span>
  <em>
    <span>!" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Felix said while he tried to find his breath between two laughs. "Mommy, sto-</span>
  <em>
    <span>" </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho finally stopped his assault on the younger's ribs when they heard the studio door open. The dancer's breath caught in his throat as he saw Chan step into the studio, the oldest's eyes falling on them. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh no. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. He couldn’t even concentrate on the different conversations around him as they relaxed in the cafeteria; he couldn’t stop thinking about how Felix looked so distressed, (almost) more than Chan ever saw him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, he knew Felix was with Minho and that he would be fine, but he needed to know what was wrong. Chan cared about Felix dearly, more than he could put into words, and to see the boy so distressed without being able to do something was unnerving. He also couldn’t help but feel like he had done something to make Felix uncomfortable, maybe even hurt him, but he couldn’t figure out what, and he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to know. He had to make things right. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Minho texted the group that Felix wasn’t feeling well and that they would take the afternoon off, Chan’s body moved on his own; he got up, the others looking at him with soft understanding smiles, and he made his way to his studio. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It took him a few minutes to get there. Once in front of the door, Chan hesitated; maybe Felix wouldn’t want to see him? Chan thought about it, but quickly dismissed the thought: Felix hadn’t seemed angry with him, he had looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>distressed </span>
  </em>
  <span>and surely Chan could do something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing resolutely, Chan knocked on the door and waited for an answer. When none came, he decided to test the door handle and realised it was unlocked.</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘If they had wanted more privacy, they would have locked it, right?’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chan thought to himself. He brought his ear closer to the door to catch any noise coming from the studio and only caught laughs. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>It shouldn’t be too bad if I come in.’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>The oldest reasoned before opening the door. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan didn’t know how he expected to find the boys. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>But he certainly wasn’t expecting Felix on Minho’s lap on the ground sucking on a pacifier. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho could swear he heard everyone’s heart stop once Chan stepped in front of them. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The dancer didn’t know for how long they were staring at each other, all frozen in place and unable to utter a word, but it felt like an eternity. Minho tried to analyze Chan’s features; surprise came first, then shock and incomprehension. The last one came with a light frown on the older’s face, which seemed to unfreeze Felix from his shock. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix took his pacifier and threw it behind him, not caring where it landed. His motion attracted Minho’s attention; the dancer turned to look at the young dancer at the same moment the latter pushed himself from Minho’s lap, lightly stumbling backward as he did so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lix-” Minho started, but it was too late; Felix was already up and running past Chan, exiting the studio without even throwing a glance at Minho. “Felix!” Minho almost yelled, cursing under his breath as he got up and went to follow the boy. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As Minho exited the studio, he saw Felix almost running into Jisung, the latter boy slightly out of breath since he had obviously tried to get there in time, in vain. He looked at Felix who went past him before looking at Minho and, consequently, Chan, who was standing beside the dancer, dumbfounded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got him.” Jisung said as he darted in Felix’s direction. “You two clearly need to talk. I’ll text you.” the rapper looked at Minho before following Felix. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix’s breath caught in his throat as soon as he saw Chan step into the studio. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>This </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>be happening.  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix felt as if his whole world was crumbling underneath him, everything he had done in order to prevent the others from finding out about his secret going to waste. Everything he had done to prevent </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chan </span>
  </em>
  <span>from finding it out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It could have been anyone else, Felix thought it would have been, maybe not fine, but slightly better. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Anyone but Chan. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed life had different plans and liked to make Felix suffer. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He could only stare at Chan, who was staring back at him, shock written all over his face. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Chan frowned lightly, but it was visible enough for Felix to see it. His heart clenched at the sight; Chan found it weird, judged him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This couldn’t be happening.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Without even registering what he was doing, his body on autopilot, Felix threw his pacifier and got up from his position on Minho’s lap. Running past Chan, Felix thought he heard Minho say his name, but he couldn’t look back. He almost didn’t register near colliding into Jisung as his legs guided him somewhere else. Far from </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran for a moment until he ducked into a restroom with multiple stalls. He didn’t even bother to check if there was anyone else in the room before entering the last stall, closing the door behind him and all but collapsing on the floor, his back to the wall. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix brought his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly against him. He folded his arms over his knees and rested his forehead over them, feeling tears pour down his cheeks. His whole body shook as he sobbed loudly, incapable of stopping it. Not wanting to stop it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt like he deserved it. Like he deserved to be hurt. To be hated by the person he loved the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He deserved all of it, because he had lied to that person. He had lied about who he was, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was, what he did. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>And, now, Chan probably hated him. Found him weird, disgusting. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A fucking disappointment. That’s what Felix was. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t believe what had happened. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t forget the frown on Chan’s face. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The shock. The disappointment. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>disgust</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever his leader had thought at that moment, Felix knew nothing would be the same anymore. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh, how Felix wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole, getting him away from here. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It couldn’t be happening. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Distantly, Felix heard a voice calling his name. He didn’t know for how long the person had been calling him, but only when Felix physically couldn’t cry anymore that he heard it and realised it was Jisung. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“G-go a-away…” Felix sobbed, even as there were no tears left falling from his eyes. He closed his eyes and sighed loudly. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausted</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lixie…” Jisung started with a sigh, “I’m not- hyungie!” he suddenly exclaimed, making Felix tense up and raise his head from his knees. The young dancer guessed it was Minho and was proven right when he heard the older walk to Jisung (and, consequently, himself, since Jisung was sitting on the other side of the stall’s door) and whisper a quiet ‘I’m here, baby’.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Hiding his face in his knees again, Felix tried to ignore the conversation on the other side of the door, wanting nothing more than to be left alone. However, he still picked up Jisung explaining the situation and Felix couldn’t help but notice the other was crying too, probably feeling powerless in front of his friend’s distress. The realisation he had caused his best friend to cry only brought new tears to Felix’s eyes, the guilt that was already present becoming worse.  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"Felix, can you please open the door?" Minho’s voice brought Felix back from his thoughts, the boy raising his head once more from his knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! G-go away..." Felix hiccupped, even if a part of his mind begged to let the caregiver in, to let him hug and kiss the bad thoughts away.</span>
  <em>
    <span> But you don’t deserve it</span>
  </em>
  <span>, another part of his mind whispered. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix half expected the older to leave with Jisung, leaving him as he asked. However, Minho stayed kneeling in front of the door and spoke again, as calmly as ever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Baby, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to stay right here, by your side, because that’s how things work: I will </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>stay by your side, no matter what happens.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix closed his eyes almost painfully tight, letting the older’s words reach him. Deep down, he knew the older would never abandon him, and neither would Jisung; they were in this together. Another part of him, though, kept telling him </span>
  <em>
    <span>no one</span>
  </em>
  <span> could ever love him, that he didn’t deserve to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that maybe the others </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretended </span>
  </em>
  <span>to get along with him so it would make work easier, that-</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Breathe in. Out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>In. Out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t listen to the voices. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, after a moment, he raised a hand and unlocked the door, slowly sliding on his knees on the other side of the stall so he could open it. He came face to face with Minho, the older smiling at him gently, while Jisung was sitting on his side, back to the wall. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"M-" Felix hiccuped before the tears he had been trying to repress began pouring down his cheeks, "M-Mommy..." He finally sobbed, both hands coming up to cover his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, baby..." Minho whispered with a sad pout and extended his arms in the younger's direction. "Come here, sweetheart." </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix all but threw himself in Minho's awaiting arms, the older dancer catching him and placing him on his lap, wrapping his smaller frame in his arms. Felix wrapped his legs around the dancer's waist and his arms around his neck, letting himself be rocked gently as the other whispered to him soothing words and caressed his back. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m… I’m…” Felix sobbed loudly, the words refusing to come out of his mouth as he tried to express himself, to apologise about what had happened. To apologize for being a </span>
  <em>
    <span>disappointment. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh... “ Minho gently interrupted him, “It’s alright, baby. I’m not leaving you, ever.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me neither, Lixie.” Jisung whispered, caressing the top of Felix’s hair gently. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a relatively long moment (surprisingly, since Felix was sure he no longer had any tears left in his body, but here he was, sobbing his eyes out), but Felix stopped crying eventually, clinging to his caregiver and holding Jisung’s hand. When he was sure Felix was calmer, Minho offered him his pacifier; however, Felix couldn’t even look at the object, suddenly ashamed of that part of him, so he refused it. Minho saw the boy’s reaction to the object being presented to him, but decided now was not the time to push on the subject. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s head home?” Minho eventually offered, to which Felix simply nodded. The older turned to Jisung, a question in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah…” Jisung answered, his eyes lowering momentarily to Felix and his’ joined hands. “I’m coming too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” The older nodded and took out his phone, texting the group that they were heading home. Not waiting for anybody’s reply, Minho pocketed his phone and went to get up with Felix in his arms, but the younger boy pulled away and got up on his own. Minho frowned but didn’t comment. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait.” The older said as the three of them walked to the door. The two youngests turned in his direction and watched as Minho grabbed some tissue and gently approached Felix to wipe the remaining tears from his cheeks. However, the younger took the tissue from Minho’s hands and did it himself, the older looking at him with a sad expression but letting him do it; Minho figured Felix wanted to be more independent for the time being, possibly wanting to repress his ‘little side’ as much as possible after what happened. A discussion was to be expected later, but now, Minho only wanted to bring the boys home. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Felix was done, Minho reached inside his bag and pulled out three face masks, giving one to the others; hopefully, the masks would hide Felix’s and Jisung’s reddened cheeks. When they put it on, Minho carefully arranged them so it hid enough of their faces and only then unlocked the door (he had locked it once he had come in, not wanting anyone to walk in), motioning the boys they could now go. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Minho didn’t want to make the two littles walk back to the dorm, he knew it would be better than asking the managers for a ride home and being questioned about what was going on. The walk was only fifteen minutes long, but it seemed longer than that; they couldn’t touch too much in public, even less hold hands, so as much as Minho wanted to hold the two boys close, he couldn’t. He still kept the two close all the way home, giving soft touches on their lower back on occasions with the excuse of moving them so they wouldn’t bump into someone. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as they were home, Jisung kicked his shoes off, sighed loudly and flopped down on the couch face first. Minho snorted at his behavior, taking care of neatly putting their shoes in the rack after Felix took his off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix slowly followed Jisung in the living room, laying half on top of the other when the rapper turned on his back and opened his arms for the younger to come cuddle him. When the younger was positioned, Jisung tightly wrapped his arms around him and gently kissed his head, the younger humming in appreciation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shower, boys.” Minho said, though his tone was fond, once he reached the two cuddling on the couch. “We all stink of sweat.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t wanna move…” Jisung whined, holding Felix tighter against him. Minho rolled his eyes but, before he could say anything, Felix sighed and spoke. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s go, Sungie. We can cuddle after.” The younger got up (not without Jisung putting up a fight and trying to hold him down) and extended a hand to Jisung, which the older of the two took before standing up too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to come help?” Minho asked, even if he expected the younger to reject the proposition.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re good.” Felix answered, not even looking up at Minho, before tugging Jisung in the direction of the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minho sighed and decided to prepare some food while the boys showered, since neither Felix or himself had eaten anything since the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would definitely have a conversation with Felix, but it could wait a little more. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The two younger boys came out of the shower a few minutes later, dressed in clean clothes (Minho had brought them some while they showered, neither of them thinking of bringing a clean set before going into the shower), and joined Minho in the dining room. The older smiled at the boys, gently patting Jisung’s head when he went past him (he would have done the same with Felix if he hadn’t avoided walking near Minho, probably expecting a similar gesture). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix and Jisung both sat in front of a steaming bowl of ramen Minho had cooked while they were in the shower, thanking the older for the meal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t wait for me.” Minho said to them with a soft smile, making his way to the bathroom. “I’ll take a shower first.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Minho came back, he was glad to see the two had finished their meal and were cuddling on the sofa again; Felix was, again, half on top of Jisung, the older of the two rubbing his back soothingly as Felix seemed to be crying again, his body shaking lightly. Minho could hear Jisung whisper to Felix, but couldn’t make out what he was saying. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The older quickly ate, all but throwing his dishes in the sink, before joining the two others. By now, Felix seemed to have stopped crying, only sniffing occasionally. Minho sat on the floor in front of them, his presence catching the boys’ attention; they turned to face him, and seeing Felix’s sad expression made Minho’s heart break into a million pieces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, baby…” The dancer whispered and brought a hand to wipe Felix’s tears from his cheeks once more, not without noticing the younger’s slight flinch at the gesture. Minho frowned lightly and sighed. “Felix-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.” The younger cut him, closing his eyes tightly. “I just… don’t want to slip right now. I won’t repress it for long, just… not now.” He opened his eyes and looked at Minho, hoping the older understood. He did.  </span>
</p><p><span>“Alright.” Minho said with a sigh before smiling at the boys. </span> <span>A moment of silence passed before Minho spoke again. “How about we move into mine and Sungie’s room? You’d be more comfortable in bed than on the couch, hm?” </span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neither of the boys complained as they got up and moved to the olders’ bedroom, Jisung and Felix re-tangling themselves together on top of the covers, Jisung spooning Felix. Minho watched the two of them make themselves comfortable from a distance and settled on the other bed, looking at his phone distractly. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Soft snores could be heard after a few minutes, Minho recognizing them as Jisung’s. The dancer looked at the two boys over his phone, noticing Felix staring back at him. They stared at each other for a moment, before Felix’s eyes started getting teary again, his bottom lip wobbling slightly. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Without a word, Minho made his way into the bed with the two others, tightly hugging Felix to his chest. The younger boy rested his head in the junction of Minho’s neck and shoulder and let himself be held by his caregiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘m sorry…” Felix mumbled against Minho’s skin, but the older shushed him gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, kitten. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Minho kissed the younger’s forehead and tightened his grip, slowly feeling Felix relax in his arms until exhaustion took over and put him to sleep. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Felix woke up, it took him a moment to remember all that had happened earlier. He sighed and tried to sit up, but an arm thrown over his waist prevented him from doing so. Felix felt the person behind him stir lightly, probably waking up too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lix?” Minho said softly, his voice still groggy from sleep. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix sighed again and pushed himself in a sitting position, the older removing his arm to let him and sitting up beside the other. Felix looked around and realised Jisung wasn’t with them anymore, probably giving the two some much needed time to talk. Felix brought his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around it, hugging them tightly against him.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew they had to talk about what happened earlier, he did. That didn’t mean Felix wanted to, though. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho sensed Felix’s reluctance to approach the subject, slowly raising a hand to rub the younger’s back reassuringly. They stayed in silence in the same position for a moment, Minho not wanting to rush Felix to speak before he felt ready. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Letting out a third sigh, Felix leaned into Minho’s side, the oldest wrapping an arm around Felix’s shoulder to hug him close while his free hand rubbed up and down his arms. Felix let himself be soothed by Minho’s ministrations, breathing in his scent that had always been somewhat comforting. </span>
</p><p><span>“</span> <span>‘m sorry…” Felix finally mumbled, his eyes filling up with tears (when would he stop crying?). </span></p><p>
  <span>“What are you apologising for, kitten?” Minho asked softly as he tried to understand what exactly was going through the younger’s mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Channie hyung… W-what if he hates me? O-or what if he’s d-digusted a-and never wants to speak to me again a-and wants to leave-” Felix started rambling about what had been on his mind since Chan had found them in the studio, the words overflowing from his mouth now that he had started, tears now falling from his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Felix.” Minho interrupted him gently but with a stern tone, enough to make the younger’s eyes look up at him. “We know Chan could never hate you, even less be disgusted; this is how you are, how you cope with things and he will support you, no matter what. He loves you way too much to just throw you away like that.” The older cupped Felix's cheek with one hand, wiping the tears away with his thumb. Minho smiled at Felix fondly before leaning forward and kissing his forehead. “If you want, and I think it would be best if we did, we could talk to Chan.” Seeing the younger’s slightly panicked expression, Minho was quick to reassure him. “Of course, we don’t have to and, if we do, we can explain only what </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to explain.” He smiled at the younger boy once more, gently stroking his cheek. “It’s all up to you. But I think it would make you feel better.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix looked into the older’s eyes for a moment, seeing nothing but love and support. Deep inside, under all the voices telling him he was disgusting and that Chan probably thought the same and hated him, a small, hopeful voice told him Minho was right, that Chan could never hate him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Felix allowed himself to hope. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He trusted Minho. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span> “Alright.” Minho's smile widened even more at the younger’s words; the dancer was so proud Felix was willing to open up to Chan, knowing it could only bring positivity. He certainly hadn’t expected the conversation to go as smoothly, hadn’t expected the younger to accept so quickly, but he wasn’t complaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Want me to text him now?” Minho asked and, if Felix’s eyes widened in surprise, he still nodded. Minho picked up his phone to text the oldest, not before leaving another kiss on top of Felix’s hair. Once he had the confirmation Chan would be there in fifteen minutes approximately, he informed Felix. The younger only nodded and brought himself even closer to Minho, focusing on the older’s heartbeat to steady his own anxious one. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Exactly fifteen minutes later, soft knocks could be heard at the door. Felix’s breath hitched, suddenly unsure about his decision to talk to the oldest. Looking at Felix while squeezing his hand reassuringly, Minho whispered his name. The youngest turned in his direction, his eyes filled with panic. Minho cupped his cheek and locked their eyes together, a serious look in his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No matter what happens, I’ll always stay by your side.” Felix stared back at Minho for a few seconds, looking for any hint the older was lying, but he couldn’t find any (as always). When Felix nodded after a few seconds, Minho exclaimed: “Come in!”. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan peaked his head into the doorway and slowly made his way into the room, smiling at the two others before closing the door behind him. Felix could feel his heart pounding inside his chest as doubts and fear of being judged and rejected by the oldest came back to him; he wanted to believe that Minho was right, that Chan would never judge or hate him for his headspace, but he couldn’t help but apprehend everything would change between them. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey.” The oldest’s soft voice brought Felix back from his thoughts; he hadn’t even realised he had been staring silently in front of him for the past minute or so. Looking up to Chan, who was now sitting at the other end of the bed, Felix tried to smile back at the other in greeting, but found it harder than he thought, his body seemingly frozen as he waited for Chan to make fun of him. Felix could barely feel Minho’s thumb rubbing soothing patterns on the back of his hand, his whole body feeling numb. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for earlier.” Chan finally said, his eyes locked with Felix’s. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>What? </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger frowned, not exactly expecting those words from the oldest. “I didn’t mean to frighten you like that, both from my presence in the studio and my reaction, so I am terribly sorry Lixie.”  Chan waited, in case Felix wanted to say something, before continuing. “Minho explained some things to me and I made research, but I would really like to learn more about your headspace. That is, if you accept </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>want to talk to me about it.” He ended, his signature soft dimpled smile still on his lips as he looked at Felix, his eyes full of the fondness he beared for the younger. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Earlier…</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright…” Minho sighed, looking from the corridor where Jisung and Felix had been seconds before looking at Chan, the leader standing confused in the doorway of the studio. “Come in, I’ll explain some things.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The two boys made their way into the studio, Chan sitting on his computer chair and Minho sitting in one of the couches. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you know what ‘age regression’ or ‘little space’ are?” Minho asked, attacking the subject without hesitation. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hm..” Chan thought about it for a moment, before shaking his head. “Not much.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay.” Minho pondered about how to explain it to the leader. “It’s a thing where people mentally regress to the age of a child. In Felix’s case, it’s mostly intentional when he does it, since he uses it for stress relief. It just… helps him forget about things for a moment, not having to care about anything.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Minho closely watched the leader’s expression, the latter nodding his head in understanding. He didn’t seem weirded out at all, only thinking about what Minho had just explained. A slight frown made his way on his face, but he talked before Minho could question it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You said it’s ‘mostly intentional’?” When Minho nodded, Chan continued. “Today wasn’t intentional.” It wasn’t phrased as a question, but Minho answered nonetheless. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah… There are some… triggers that can make Felix slip without him wanting too, or at least make him feel more fragile to slipping unintentionally. That’s what happened today.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He wanted to keep it a secret.” Chan stated. Still not a question, but Minho explained. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He didn’t want people to think he’s weird and reject him.” At this, Minho was sure he heard Chan snort and mumble a ‘yeah, like I would ever’, but didn’t comment on it. Instead, the dancer said; “You know, it would mean a lot to him if you accepted that part of him, or at least not judge him for it.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course I’m not going to judge him! If it makes him feel better, I don’t see why he shouldn't do it. I’ll support whatever he does to relieve stress if it’s not harmful.” A blush made his way on Chan’s cheeks as he lastly said “And, from what I’ve seen, it’s really, really cute, too.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Minho smiled widely at his leader’s words. The dancer would have teased Chan about what he had just said, but knew he had to go see Felix, who was most likely still in the middle of his breakdown. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good.” Minho got up, patting his leader on the shoulder. “We’ll continue speaking later; I’ll text you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Relief flew through Felix; the oldest seemed genuinely interested in the subject and didn’t seem like he wanted to mock him. Felix exhaled a shaky breath he had been holding since the other had started speaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You... don’t hate me?” He asked in a small voice, his head low as he watched the other’s reaction. Chan frowned, taken aback by his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would I hate you? Coping mechanisms are a normal thing, and yours happen to be a healthy- and immensely cute- one that </span>
  <em>
    <span>does </span>
  </em>
  <span>help you de-stress. So, why would I hate you for that?” Chan asked, his voice still as soft as before, making a warm feeling spread inside Felix. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger shrugged lightly before answering.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know… it’s… weird, no?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it is?” Chan asked, one eyebrow raised in slight confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...no.” Finally answered Felix with another shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, there is no point in taking other people’s perspectives in consideration, since it helps you take care of yourself.” Chan smiled at Felix and brought a hand to wipe tears on the younger’s cheek (when had he started crying </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>?). “There are far less healthy ways people use to take care of themselves, so I’m glad you found a good way to do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix lowered his head sheepishly, blush creeping onto his cheeks. Minho smiled softly at him and brought a hand to rub the other’s back soothingly. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since the start of the day, Felix cried of relief, of pure joy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, baby…” Minho cooed, tugging the younger even closer to him and kissing his forehead, rocking him gently. “You were so, so scared, hm? Poor baby. It’s all good now.” Minho continued rocking Felix softly, softly whispering praises to him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Raising his eyes slightly, Felix caught Chan staring at them, a huge smile on his lips. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix looked back at Minho and, after seeing the encouraging smile he sent him, turned to Chan, a blush still covering his features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can… ask me about it.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan’s smile widened even more at Felix’s words, happy that he wanted to open up about the subject.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Lix. It means a lot to me.” Felix smiled softly at the older before the latter continued. “Minho told me that it’s not always like earlier, that you don’t always have triggers that make you slip but that you sometimes do. Can you explain your triggers to me?” Felix bit his bottom lip, looking at Minho for his approval before answering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being scolded usually makes me slip, but it depends; I’m most likely to slip when I’m very tired or stressed or if it’s been a while since I regressed.” Felix watched as the older nodded in understanding and he took a deep breath before he kept going. “Petnames and anything that makes me feel... small can also be triggers.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What makes you feel small?” The leader asked, tilting his head slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being taken care of, being carried, some tv shows or pieces of clothings too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm…” Chan nodded in understanding. “You said petnames can make you slip, too? Is it all of them or only some?” Felix blushed even darker at Chan’s question, lowering his eyes until they rested on his tangled hands. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want me to answer?” Minho asked after a moment, and continued once Felix nodded. “Some more than others, like </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘baby’, </span>
  </em>
  <span>‘Lixie’ and </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘kitten’.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it with everyone? Everyone calls you ‘Lixie’, isn’t it hard to keep yourself from slipping every time?” Chan frowned. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s so whipped for him</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ Minho thought to himself with a soft smile before replying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not with everyone. For example, it wouldn’t affect him as much if Hyunjin calls him that versus if I, or you, did.” Minho looked at Felix, who seemed to blush even more at his caregiver’s words. Chan let out a soft ‘ah’ in understanding before continuing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you do when you slip? Do you have specific things you like to do?” He turned to Felix, genuine curiosity in his tone. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix whined softly, turning to face Minho and hiding his face in his chest, surprising the two others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Minho asked him, a knowing smirk on his lips as he had an idea about what was going on. </span>
</p><p><span>“Nothing, it’s just… talking about it makes me wanna slip… And hyungie makes me feel small too…”</span> <span>Felix whispered not so quietly to Minho and looked at his caregiver with a pout. Minho had to bite his bottom lip to refrain himself to coo out loud at Felix’s adorableness. </span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
  </em>
  <span>Awn, baby.” Minoh said, cupping Felix’s cheek. The younger once again whined and hid his face in his caregiver’s chest, embarrassment flowing through him. Minho left a quick peck on his forehead. “You know you can slip if you want to, baby. I’m right here.”</span>
</p><p><span>“ ‘m shy..”</span> <span>Felix mumbled shakily, nervously playing with his fingers. </span></p><p>
  <span>“How about we just cuddle while we talk with hyungie, hm?” Minho proposed. After a short moment, Felix nodded, the older smiling fondly at him; he knew how hard it was for Felix to regress in front of anyone else than him (Jisung excluded), so Minho was proud that Felix was comfortable enough around Chan to let himself slip, even if just a bit. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho opened his arms, motioning Felix to come closer. “Alright, come here baby.” Felix happily complied and circled Minho’s neck with his arms, moving to completely sit on the other’s laps, facing Minho. When the older tightly wrapped his arms around his waist, Felix couldn’t help but let out a content sigh, resting his head in the crook of Minho’s neck. Resting his back against the wall behind him, Minho took one of his pillows and brought it behind him, sighing softly once they were finally in a comfortable position. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho caught Chan staring at them and sent him a big smile, the older reciprocating the gesture. Minho then looked down at Felix, his movement catching the younger’s attention and his eyes looking up to meet Minho’s. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Want to tell hyungie what you like to do when you’re little, kitten?” Chan could hear the change in Minho’s tone, his voice softer than usual as he addressed the little. Felix eyed his caregiver for a moment before nodding sheepishly. Shyly looking at Chan, Felix answered his previous question, the older waiting for his reply patiently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I like… drawing… a-and playing with my plushies and hyungie…” Chan guessed he was referring to Minho, nodding for him to continue. “I like… watching Sakura a-and making cookies o-or cupcakes and cuddling with hyungie…” Felix finished, a cute blush on his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, you love a lot of things!” Chan exclaimed, using a similar soft tone as Minho. Felix looked at him happily and nodded, giggling slightly, before resting his head back on Minho’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t have a lot of toys yet..” Minho explained, rubbing the younger’s back. “It’s kind of hard to buy things in store and we haven’t found a good online store where we can order safely.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.” Chan hummed and nodded in understanding. Usually, when they wanted to order something online, most of the members either asked their managers or their family, but considering the situation, it was most likely that these two options weren’t possible. Since neither of the two had young relatives, it would be weird for them to buy ‘little stuff’. “You know, my nephew just turned three. If you ever need someone to order something for you, it would be less suspicious if I was to do it for you. That is, if you want me to.” Chan smiled as he saw Felix brightly look up at Minho, both of them smiling happily to each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Chan. That would be amazing.” Minho smiled brightly at the oldest, the other smiling back at him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They kept talking for a while, Minho and Felix answering Chan’s questions as best as they could. The more they kept conversing, the more Felix felt himself slip to a younger headspace, but he realised he didn’t mind even though he was in Chan’s presence.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix felt himself lose interest in the conversation, his little side making him forget about the importance of the subject. Minho realised Felix had stopped talking, but didn’t mind since he knew the younger probably was too regressed to continue the conversation. When Minho saw Felix bring a thumb to his mouth, he gently took it away and looked around for his pacifier. Chan seemed to understand what the other was looking for and, spotting the item on the bedside table, reached for it and gave it to Minho, who placed it between Felix’s lips after thanking him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix felt himself getting sleepier by the minute, slowly dozing off in Minho’s embrace. The others had dropped their tone seeing as the youngest was falling asleep, making the atmosphere even more peaceful than it already was. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“ ‘m sleepy hyungie.” Felix mumbled into Minho’s chest after a while, the older looking down at him softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, baby. Want me to carry you in bed?” Minho wondered after leaving a quick peck on Felix’s forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmhm…” Felix shook his head before replacing it on Minho’s shoulder, his eyes already closed. “Here</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Minho smiled fondly at the younger, internally cooing at how cute he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might continue speaking with Chan-hyung though, baby. Is that alright?” When Felix nodded, Minho continued. “Do you want to lay down or ..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmhm…” Felix shook his head once more. “Cuddles.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright then, little koala.” Minho said, making Felix giggle lightly and tighten his grip on the older. Opening his eyes, Felix looked up at Minho and caught the other’s eyes. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They smiled at each other for a moment before Felix reached for his pacifier to take it out. He jutted his lips slightly, silently begging the older for a kiss. Smiling fondly, and momentarily forgetting that Chan was there, Minho happily complied and left a kiss on the younger’s lips. Felix sighed contentedly and closed his eyes again, taking his pacifier back between his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you, Mommy</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Felix whispered, slowly falling back asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, kitten.” Minho murmured, his eyes locked on the boy’s face and his fingers caressing it lightly. No matter how many times they found themselves in the same position, Minho never got tired of admirring Felix from up close. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few seconds of silence, Chan’s voice brought Minho back from his thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…</span>
  <em>
    <span>’</span>
  </em>
  <span>Mommy’, uh?” Chan teased, making the other blush slightly. Not that he would ever admit it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up.” Minho said with a small laugh. “He doesn’t always call me that, only when he’s feeling more little than usual or when he’s sleepy.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cute.” Chan smiled fondly while looking at the two other boys. His smile however faltered lightly, one hand coming up to scratch his neck while he momentarily looked down at his knees . “Are you two… together?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No?” Minho frowned, wondering what could have made the older believe that. “Oh, the kiss?” Chan nodded, a slight blush on his cheeks. It was a known fact across the group that Minho loved giving kisses, but they weren’t usually directly on the mouth (except with his boyfriend, of course). “Yeah, we don’t always kiss like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but sometimes we do, when he feels more little than usual too. It’s not a romantic thing though.” He laughed lightly when Chan blushed even more, mumbling a ‘oh, good, okay, that’s good”. The dancer looked at the sleeping boy on his lap before continuing. “The first time it happened, I was taken by surprise and we talked about it afterwards because he thought I was weirded out. Honestly? It’s the most adorable thing ever and it feels nice to be this close to someone who trusts you to take care of them.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan nodded, slowly taking everything in. “Do you think he’ll accept to fully regress while I’m here sometime?” he asked after a moment. Minho smiled at the older.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure he’ll want to, eventually. You just have to give him some time; he’s not used to regressing with someone other than me or Sungie.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jisung? Why would-” Chan stopped himself and smiled knowingly. “Ah, okay.” Minho smiled, happy Chan didn’t seem to mind Jisung regressing either (even if he didn’t expect the contrary). </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. They almost always regress together. You know the dance lessons we give to Sungie?” When the older nodded, Minho continued, “They are actually scheduled periods for the twins to regress, so they can do it at least once a week.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea.” Chan nodded in approval. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The two stayed in a comfortable silence for a moment, both looking at the sleeping boy. Chan gently reached to brush a strand of hair from Felix’s face, the utter fondness he had for the younger as transparent as ever. Minho looked at his leader with an amused smile, but kept otherwise quiet, not wanting to ruin the moment. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“So…” Chan said, his voice low enough so he wouldn’t wake up Felix. “How does it… work? Like, what do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>do when he regresses?” A blush crept on Chan’s cheek as he finished. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, as his caregiver, I take care of him, right? So, it honestly depends on what he needs; his age in headspace varies, it can go from two to six years old, more or less. Sometimes, he only needs me to keep an eye on him while he plays, sometimes he needs me to help get dressed, eat, all the help a toddler would need basically.” Minho looked at the sleeping boy with a smile before continuing. “He’s usually really shy in headspace and is the </span>
  <em>
    <span>biggest </span>
  </em>
  <span>cuddle bug. He loves when I play with him, but he also loves to just… cuddle for hours, sometimes watching a TV show or sometimes just doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It must be nice..” Chan said longingly, a soft smile on his lips as he watched the younger boy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is.” Minho whispered, leaving a quick peck on Felix’s head. Minho turned to Chan, a gentle smile on his lips. “You know, now that the cat is out of the bag, he would love to have you as a caregiver eventually.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan blushed darkly at Minho’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-it’s not- that wasn’t why I was asking, I-I was- It’s just…” The leader stuttered as he avoided Minho’s playful stare, looking anywhere but at the other. After a moment, Chan sighed and looked down at his hands. “You can’t be sure he would want-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m sure.” Minho scoffed. “You don’t even have to do anything to make him feel small. Just being around you makes him slip if he’s not paying attention. And I mean absolutely no offense by that; that’s just the effect you have on him. You make him feel cared for and </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” Chan whispered, a smile making his way on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You already have a special place in Felix’s heart, and him in yours.” Minho continued, Chan turning to look at him with a blush still on his cheeks. “You already take care of him so much, I didn’t expect anything else. Like I said; give him time. Having you around would only be good.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A short moment passed where none of the boys said anything. They enjoyed the silence a moment longer, both of them grateful there wasn’t any awkwardness between them after the day’s events. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Chan finally said, a genuine smile on his lips as he looked at Minho. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next few days, Minho and Felix talked </span>
  <em>
    <span>a lot</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Now that he knew Chan wanted to help take care of little Felix, Minho needed to make sure the younger wanted that too. Unsurprisingly, Felix accepted; now that he knew his hyung accepted this side of him, Felix wanted nothing more than having the oldest take care of him while in headspace too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minho and Felix discussed how to properly introduce little Felix to Chan and decided it would be best if it was only the three of them (Felix didn’t want his ‘twin’ to feel left out, but Jisung assured him it was alright, since it was for a special occasion They promised to regress together the day before D-Day). Minho had discussed with Chan too, making sure the oldest was still alright with it, which he was, unsurprisingly. The leader informed Minho that he didn’t have important meetings for the next week, since everything was officially ready for the comeback, so they could tell him when Felix wanted to regress and he would make sure to free his schedule. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The Saturday before the comeback, the boys had a day off (the next one would only be at the end of promo, which would be in a long time). On Friday night, they all got home pretty late, having practiced all new choreos at least four times during the day. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As they ate, the eight boys discussed their plans for the next day; Jisung was going home, Seungmin and Jeongin were going at Seungmin’s, and Hyunjin and Changbin were having a date, leaving early and coming back late. When Felix realised he would be home with Minho and Chan, he smiled to himself and made a mental note to speak to Minho later.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The eight boys separated after supper, all going into their own rooms to relax, except for Felix who went in Jisung and Minho’s room. The younger found the two cuddling snuggly, opening their arms to welcome Felix between them. Felix happily complied, letting Jisung spoon him while he rested his head on Minho’s chest, the older’s arm wrapping around the two youngers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you don’t want to stay home and be little?” Minho asked while he brushed a strand of hair from Jisung’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, hyung, I’m sure.” Jisung assured for the third time, smiling softly at his boyfriend. “I don’t feel the need to do it tomorrow and, besides, wouldn’t tomorrow be the perfect time for…” he gestured to Felix’s with his head, “you know?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minho looked at Felix, who looked back at him with a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think?” The older asked softly. “It’s up to you. It doesn’t need to be tomorrow if you’re not ready.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was actually what I wanted to talk to you about, hyung. Tomorrow would be good.” The Australian said with a light blush, making a huge smile appear on Minho’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Want me to go talk to Channie hyung or you will?” Felix’s blush darkened, the boy lowering his eyes while he thought about the suggestion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I will…” He finally said, looking up at his caregiver. Minho pecked his forehead before Felix stood, making his way back into his room (and, consequently, Chan and Changbin’s). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once in front of the door, Felix sighed resolutely before entering. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan and Changbin were both on their own beds scrolling on their phones. When Felix came in, Chan raised his eyes to meet Felix’s and could see the younger was nervous as he stood there, in the doorway, playing with his sweater paws. . </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, what’s up?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The leader said softly, attracting Changbin’s attention; the rapper raised his eyes from his phone, looked at Chan, then at Felix and could see that the younger seemed to want to talk with the leader. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go bother IN.” Changbin said, getting up from his bed and walking in direction of the younger’s bedroom, softly petting Felix’s hair on the way. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as Changbin closed the door, Chan motionned the younger to join him on his bed, sitting up to leave him some space. Felix complied, his eyes fixated on his hands as he sat on the other side of his leader’s bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Uhm, tomorrow, I planned on… regressing w-with Minho hyung a-and I was wondering if… you wanted to… be there</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Felix briefly looked up at Chan before darting his eyes back on his hands. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t need to! If you don’t want to anymore, or if you have something planned, that’s f-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course I will, Lixie.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chan cut through Felix’s rambling, gently taking one of his hands and caressing the back in the soothing manner. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The effect was immediate; Felix’s face flushed in an even deeper shade of red, both of his hands flying to his face to cover it in embarrassment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H-hyung!” He whined in his hands, Chan looking at him in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? </span>
  <em>
    <span>What? Did I say something- </span>
  </em>
  <span>ah.” When he remembered what he had called the younger, Chan smiled apologetically. “Sorry about that. I’ll.. be careful.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Taking his hands off his face, Felix shrugged lightly and said it was okay. They stayed in a comfortable silence for a moment before the younger got up, claiming he was going to sleep. Smiling at him softly, Chan wished Felix a good night and watched him climb into his bunk bed. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning, Felix was surprised to realise he had slept through the departure of all the others, leaving him only with Chan and Minho (except if the older had changed his mind, which Felix hoped not). Listening carefully, Felix could hear noise coming from the kitchen; paying a bit more attention, he could make out the two oldests’ voices, which meant Chan was still home. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>At the realisation that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>happening, he would regress in Chan’s presence</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Felix couldn’t help but feel his chest constrict slightly in apprehension; what if Chan decided it was weird?</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix closed his eyes and took a deep breath: he reminded himself that it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chan, </span>
  </em>
  <span>that he had been pretty supportive when they had talked about it and that he wasn’t alone, that Minho would be here the whole time. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A few deep breath later, Felix got up and walked in the direction of the kitchen, where the two others were. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He could do this. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As soon as he arrived in the kitchen, Minho and Chan turned in his direction and smiled at him, a ‘good morning’ coming from both. Felix could see they were in the middle of preparing breakfast, but he couldn’t make out what exactly they were making as his breath caught in his throat, his eyes not able to look anywhere else but at Chan. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He couldn’t do this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Minho was at his side, taking his face between his palms and making Felix look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you know we don’t have to do this, right?” Minho whispered to him. “This is supposed to help you relax, not stress you out even more.” The older caressed Felix’s cheek, the younger sighing at the touch and closing his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Grounding</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “I can kick Chan out if needed.” Felix snorted lightly at the other’s words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright.” He said after a moment, eyes locking with his caregiver’s. “I want to do this. Just... might need help.” Felix blushed lightly at his own words; he didn’t remember when was the last time he had needed Minho to talk him down so he could get into his headspace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, baby.” Minho smiled at him, leaving a quick peck on his forehead. The older leaned away, taking in Felix’s outfit (which actually was his pajamas; they were all still in their pajamas, since they all had just woken up, more or less). “Hm, how about we go put something that will make you feel better?” When Felix nodded, cheeks red, Minho gave him another quick kiss on the forehead and turned to Chan. “Are you good to finish making breakfast? I’ll go with Lixie for a moment.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” Chan smiled at them genuinely and turned to Felix while he said; “Take your time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Felix flushed even darker, Minho took his hand and, with a small ‘Come on, baby’, led him to his room. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once in Minho and Jisung’s room, Minho sat Felix on his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s get you changed, sweetheart. You choose or I do?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You. Please.” Minho smiled at the younger, petting his hair before moving to his closet. Taking out one of the few bundles he had containing the twins clothes while in headspace, Minho decided on an oversized baby blue sweater with ‘baby’ written in the front (he watched with amusement how the younger blushed at his choice, but Felix didn’t complain), white shorts and white and blue knee high socks (the younger absolutely adored them, in and out of headspace). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minho walked back to the younger and when the latter extended his hands to take the clothes, the older shook his head. He dropped the outfit next to Felix and knelt in front of him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Arms up, kitten.” He said softly, grabbing the hem of Felix’s pajama shirt. Felix cheeks darkened a bit, but complied; it wasn’t the first time the older helped him get dressed and he knew it was to help bring him into the soft, warm feeling of his headspace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There you go.” Minho murmured. He smiled as he saw the younger visibly sigh and close his eyes at the older’s ministrations, relaxing under his touch and letting himself be taken care of. When he decided Felix was relaxed enough, Minho reached into his pocket and pulled out a galaxy patterned pacifier he had taken while choosing the clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Open up, baby.” The younger didn’t even open his eyes as he opened his mouth, letting his caregiver place the comfort item between his lips and letting out a sigh when he started sucking on it. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once Minho was done dressing the younger, he leaned forward to kiss Felix’s forehead. The younger opened his eyes and looked at his caregiver, a faint smile on his lips. Minho couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>return the smile, cooing out loud at the younger’s cuteness and cooing even </span>
  <em>
    <span>louder </span>
  </em>
  <span>when Felix blushed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, kitten: you’re just the cutest.” He brushed the little’s cheek with his thumb and watched as he leaned into the touch. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Though very relaxed, Minho knew Felix wasn’t completely in headspace: he could see how Felix seemed to still apprehend going back to the oldest, looking into Minho’s eyes a little worriedly. That wouldn’t do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s cuddle a bit.” Minho smiled at Felix while moving onto the bed behind the younger and gently tugging him against his chest. Felix happily complied, letting out a sigh of relief when he realised they weren’t going back to Chan yet. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minho rubbed Felix’s back soothingly, whispering soft things to him to get him to finally let go and fall into headspace, just like he had to do the first times Felix had regressed with him; it had been a while since then, but Minho remembered just exactly what to say to the younger boy to make him feel small and </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Felix stayed silent the whole time, letting his caregiver’s words bring that feeling of warm fuzziness that accompanied his headspace</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few minutes, Minho pulled away slightly, prompting Felix to do the same. They looked at each other for a moment, both of their faces stretching as a smile appeared on their lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you so, so much, kitten. You know that, right?” Minho whispered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmhm.” Felix hummed, resting his head back on Minho’s shoulder. “Love you too, hyun’ie.” He mumbled around his pacifier, making Minho’s smile widen even more. Suddenly, Felix looked at his hands resting on the older’s chest, avoiding his eyes. “Channie hyun’ie loves Lixie too?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, baby.” Minho couldn’t help but pout slightly at the boy’s words, quickly replacing it by an honest smile. “Of course, he does. I’m sure he can’t wait to see you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm.” Felix hummed, a blush making his way on his cheeks. Then, finally; “ ‘m ready, hyun’ie.” Minho smiled proudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, let’s go, kitten.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan was lazily spread out on the couch, scrolling on his phone, when the two others made their appearance: he smiled widely when he saw Felix sheepishly walk behind Minho, holding tight on the older’s hand and looking at the ground. When Felix finally looked at Chan, the leader had to keep himself from cooing out loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>run to the younger to hug him tight and cover his face in millions of kisses; Felix was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorable </span>
  </em>
  <span>(not that he wasn’t usually). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, he returned the smile and asked if they were ready to eat. When the two nodded, Chan made his way into the kitchen to prepare their plates. While he did so, he heard Minho bring Felix to the bathroom so the younger could wash his hands before they came back. Minho came to help him carry the plates and utensils, placing them on the table before they sat; Chan in front of Felix while Minho sat by the younger’s side. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you say, baby?” Minho prompted the younger, a gentle smile on his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for the food, hyungie.” Felix said once he had taken his pacifier out of his mouth and put it on the table next to his plate, looking at the leader a little flustered. Chan smiled back at him widely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, </span>
  <em>
    <span>angel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” The petname came easily, but neither of them seemed to care. In fact, it was quite the contrary; Felix visibly gasped and hid his face in his hands, a dark blush spreading on his cheeks as he giggled. Minho, who had leant over Felix’s plate to cut his food in smaller pieces, looked up at him with a soft expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I think someone just found a new favorite petname, hm?” The two olders laughed when Felix violently nodded, his cheeks and ears still a bit red. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the meal went smoothly, Minho and Chan making conversation while they ate. Minho fed Felix through the meal, even if he was in an old enough headspace to do it himself; Minho had once explained to Chan that it was something Felix </span>
  <em>
    <span>adored </span>
  </em>
  <span>while in headspace, particularly a younger one (like he currently was). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they were done, Chan insisted he could do the dishes while Minho brought Felix to brush his teeth. When the leader was done, he went to brush his teeth too and, passing in front of Minho’s room, found the two others there; Minho was getting dressed while Felix was seemingly getting something from a bag, the younger cheering happily when he found his coloring books, colored papers and crayons. Smiling, Chan went into the bathroom, then into his room to get dressed. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The leader joined Minho and Felix back into the living room. Chan smiled when he saw Felix sprawled out on the floor (Minho had placed a mat so he wouldn’t be </span>
  <em>
    <span>directly </span>
  </em>
  <span>on the hard wood), quietly drawing on a blank sheet as he sucked on his pacifier and cuddling a kangaroo plushie he remembered giving the younger a few months back when he went back to Australia. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix seemed to know he was being watched, so he turned in the leader’s direction and sheepishly smiled back at him before going back to his drawing. Coming closer to the little, Chan bent down and looked at the drawing. He quickly recognised eight figures, all of them holding hands, and Chan couldn’t help but find it </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely adorable</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wow, Lixie!” He exclaimed, drawing the little’s attention on him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>That is so pretty!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” He said, emphasizing the ‘o’. Felix blushed lightly, looking back at his drawing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hyungie.” The boy quickly looked at Chan and, after a moment, pointed at the figures one by one.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “This is Innie, this is Minnie, this is Jinnie, this is Binnie hyun’ie, this is Lixie, this is Sun’ie, this is Minho hyun’ie and this is Channie hyun’ie.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Felix explained proudly. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’e holdin’ hands and we’e all happy because we’r all togethe’</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan didn’t think the younger could get cuter; he was wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is very, very pretty, </span>
  <em>
    <span>angel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He said softly, raising a hand to caress the younger’s hair. Felix blushed at the praise and at the nickname, but managed to mumble a quiet ‘thank you, hyun’ie’. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the morning was uneventful, Chan joining Minho on the couch and discussing with him. A few minutes after having joined Minho, Chan’s attention was brought to Felix who was gently tugging on his sleeve to get his attention. When the leader turned to look at him, Felix gave him his drawing, having finished it: he had added flowers and hearts on the page, adding a lot of colors. When Chan took the page to look at it, he looked down with a small smile and a blush on his cheeks, making his caregiver coo and extend his arms in his direction while making grabby hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, baby, you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>precious. Come here.” Felix happily complied, although a little more flustered due to his caregiver’s dramatic reaction, and sat on Minho’s lap, facing the older. Minho wrapped his arms around Felix, leaving a very loud kiss on the top of his hair, which made the little laugh. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>angel</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Chan said softly once he was done examining the drawing, looking up at the boy in Minho’s arms. Felix’s cheeks went a soft pink again, but he smiled at his leader. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>By the end of the day, Felix was exhausted, but a </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>exhausted; after dinner, he had played with both Minho and Chan, took a quick nap, then played with the two again. They had ran around the dorm a bit when the two olders had decided to gang up against Felix and attack him with tickles, the younger trying to run away to no avail: the two others were just quicker. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As Minho tucked him in bed early that night, wanting him to be as rested as possible, Felix found that he couldn’t wait to regress in Chan’s presence again. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsurprisingly, once Felix saw that Chan remained supportive of his headspace even after a few times he had regressed in his presence and that Chan wanted to be involved, the younger boy quickly warmed up to him while in headspace; now, Felix felt comfortable enough to be left only with the older while regressed, much to Minho’s pride (don’t get him wrong; Minho still wanted to be Felix’s caregiver, but he knew how special the leader was to Felix). </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan was more than happy to see the younger grow more and more loose around him while little; now, Felix would be comfortable enough to sit on his lap and cuddle, just like he would do with Minho. Felix would still blush when Chan would help him change clothes, but it was the same in and out of headspace, so it wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary. The younger also gradually referred to Chan more while little, a fact which filled the leader with pride and joy. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan couldn’t help but feel immensely closer to the boy; they had always been close, since the day they met at the company, but he felt privileged to be allowed to take care of Felix in such vulnerable moments. A selfish part of himself wished they could be even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but the leader kept these thoughts to himself, content with his current ‘status’ in the younger’s life. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix had thought of asking Chan to be his main caregiver for a few weeks now. The only thing was that, with the preparation of the new comeback, he never had the time to bring the subject with the leader (to start off, Jisung and himself had less time to regress than usual, even if the caregivers did try to find time in their busy schedules, so forget having enough time to have that conversation). At least, Felix didn’t think it was a priority; the leader was always there for him, so even if it wasn’t said, Felix did consider him like his main caregiver. He would prefer making it ‘official’, but it could wait a bit more. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Their day off before the start of the promo was finally there. Much like the last time, half of the group would leave the dorm, leaving Minho, Jisung, Felix and Chan home. They didn’t even need to address the subject that they all knew the two youngers would take the day to regress, both caregivers happy to be there for them. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It happened just before dinner. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The two littles were playing in the living room, Minho on his phone slouching on the couch while Chan was making dinner. The two boys had a vivid imagination, both on a mat on the floor and imagining a story about dragons that needed to save princes from mean princesses. They both got up after a while, acting their story and making Minho the prince that needed to be saved. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>As usual, the two littles rapidly became </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>excited, running around the living room. Normally, a simple reminder to ‘walk inside, please’ from Minho or Chan would get them to calm, but this time, it didn’t seem to work, both ignoring Minho as they continued running. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lixie, baby, you’re wearing fuzzy socks, you could tri-” Minho started, looking up from his phone, only to be interrupted by a loud thud. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>There, on the floor near the television, was sprawled Felix. Jisung had stopped running, staring at his friend in shock, not exactly knowing what to do. Minho quickly went to Felix, the boy slowly sitting up while holding the back of his head with a hand. As soon as Minho arrived, the older saw Felix’s eyes fill with tears. Before Minho could say anything though, Chan arrived behind him and, instantly, Felix turned in his direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>D-Da…” </span>
  </em>
  <span>He sniffed, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes as he started to sob, and extended his arms in the leader’s direction. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Daddy…” </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The shock on Chan’s face lasted less than a second, thankfully, before he all but threw himself in Felix’s direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, angel…”</span>
  </em>
  <span> The leader crouched in front of Felix, taking the younger in his arms. Putting his hand where Felix was holding his head, Chan quickly checked if there was an injury, relieved to see none. Sighing in relief, he kissed Felix’s forehead, the younger resting his head against his shoulder and wrapping his arms around Chan’s neck, still sobbing loudly. Using Felix’s hold around his neck to his advantage, Chan reached under Felix’s thighs and lifted the boy from the ground, balancing him in his arms before gently rocking him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh, it’s alright baby.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Let’s put some ice on that pretty head, so we can make the owie go away.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> The leader said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go get you some.” Minho got up, taking Jisung’s hand and asking him if he wanted to help, to which the boy nodded. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan positioned the both of them on the couch, Felix on his lap since the younger didn’t seem to want to let go of Chan yet (not that the leader minded). Gently rubbing Felix’s back, Chan kissed his hair a few times, whispering soft things to the boy. Once Minho was back, he accepted the ice and applied it where Felix had hit his head, thanking the other when he proposed that he and Jisung went to finish making dinner. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a few minutes until Felix’s sobs were reduced to occasionnal sniffing, the boy sucking on his pacifier (Chan had given it to him a moment ago). Chan took off the ice, deposing it on a nearby table before resuming his cuddles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better?” He asked with a soft smile, looking down at the little snuggling against him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm.” Felix nodded in approval, still a bit sad but feeling a bit better since his head didn’t hurt anymore. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sowwy Daddy…”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He mumbled against Chan’s chest. </span>
</p><p><span>“</span><em><span>It’s alright, bub.</span></em> <em><span>Just remember to walk when you wear your fuzzy socks, okay?” </span></em><span>When Felix nodded, Chan kissed the top of his head once more. “</span><em><span>I love yo-</span></em><span>” He froze when he realised what he just had said, breath catching in his throat as he bit his bottom lip. </span></p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He couldn’t just have said that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Months of trying to hide it from the younger, not wanting to risk losing him with unrequited feelings: Felix meant so much, </span>
  <em>
    <span>too much </span>
  </em>
  <span>for him to take the chance of confessing to him and having him not reciprocate the feelings. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix would be too kind of a person to reject him harshly, the leader was certain. However, Chan knew the younger would feel bad about making Chan sad and </span>
  <em>
    <span>that,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the leader didn’t want. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t do that to his sunshine. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully (at least, for Chan), Felix didn’t seem to think too much about the words the older had just blurted out. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up at his caregiver and smiled at him, Chan relaxing slightly at the younger’s soft stare. Taking his pacifier out, Felix leaned forward and left a light kiss on Chan’s lips, the older too frozen in place once he understood what Felix was doing to do anything else than </span>
  <em>
    <span>just let it happen</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling at the older once more before putting his pacifier between his lips again, Felix snuggled against Chan’s chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Love you too</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Felix mumbled, and if Chan thought he could be even more shocked, he clearly was wrong. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearly the younger didn’t mean it the way Chan had meant, even more considering he was in headspace, but the leader couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter at those words. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh well. They would surely need to talk about it later but, for now, he contented himself by wrapping his arms even tighter against Felix’s smaller frame. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, Chan went into his room to retrieve his phone charger (of course, he wasn’t ready to sleep yet, so since he didn’t want to wake Felix up, he set up his laptop in the living room to work there). When he finally found it after a few minutes (next to Changbin’s bed, he should have guessed), he heard Felix’s shuffle in bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hyung?” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan turned to look at the boy, finding him sitting in his bed. The leader couldn’t help but find the younger immensely </span>
  <em>
    <span>adorable </span>
  </em>
  <span>in one of Chan’s shirts, the garment too big on his petite frame (Felix had insisted on wearing it earlier while in headspace after having dirtied his own and, clearly, hadn’t changed once out of headspace. Not that Chan minded: seeing Felix in his clothes made something like satisfaction bubble inside his chest.)</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” The older inquired with a soft smile. If the lights had been on, Chan would have seen Felix’s cheeks taking a pink tint, the boy opening his mouth twice before closing it, choosing his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I talk to you for a second?” Felix’s voice was low and his tone was serious, which alerted Chan; the younger usually had his voice when something had been bothering him. Though, Chan hid his concern, only smiling at the younger reassuringly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course.” He watched as Felix got up from his bed, instead sitting on Chan’s. The leader sat beside him, the same soft dimpled smile on his lips. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Felix bit his bottom lip and looked at his fingers nervously, hugging his knees to his chest. Worry crept into Chan’s chest as he watched the other; usually, Felix would cuddle him or </span>
  <em>
    <span>at least </span>
  </em>
  <span>hold his hand while talking, but now, the boy seemed to distance himself from the leader. Chan tried to push the feeling away, willing himself to wait for Felix to explain before being worried. He knew better than to push the boy to talk, so he waited for him to start by himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Did you mean it</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” The younger finally whispered, barely looking up at Chan.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Frowning, it took a few seconds for Chan to get what Felix was talking about. When he understood, the older hummed, catching the other’s attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, I did.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Chan smiled at Felix warmly, but it wasn’t enough; Felix wanted- no, needed to make sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean…” He locked eyes with Chan, hoping the older would get the message. “Did you </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean </span>
  </em>
  <span>it?” </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Chan held the eye-contact with Felix, eyeing the younger’s features he loved so much; his adorable button nose, his beautiful heart-shaped lips and, of course, his gorgeous freckles. Every time he looked at him, Chan thought he could never get enough of Lee Felix; the boy was just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty </span>
  </em>
  <span>and </span>
  <em>
    <span>sweet, </span>
  </em>
  <span>on the outside like on the inside. No matter how many times Chan so much as glanced at him, he was reminded of how </span>
  <em>
    <span>whipped </span>
  </em>
  <span>he was for the younger, how hard he had fallen for him. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Gently, Chan reached a hand to cup Felix’s cheek. The leader caressed the soft skin  with his thumb, making Felix lean into the touch lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant it.” He finally exhaled, eyes locked with the younger’s, trying to conjure all the love he had for the other in his eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I love you, so much.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile Felix had could only be described as blinding. Before Chan could say anything though, the younger all but threw himself at him, colliding against his chest and locking their lips together. This time, neither of the boys froze; Felix wrapped his arms around Chan’s neck while the older cupped Felix’s cheek with one hand and held onto his waist with the other. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They kissed slowly, unhurriedly, confessing their feelings through the gesture. They sighed contentedly as their lips moved against the other’s, enjoying the moment as much as they could. When Chan wrapped his arm around Felix's waist, the latter moved forward until he was seated on the older’s lap, legs wrapping around Chan’s waist. They sighed in contentment once more at the new closeness, both of their chests moving together as they breathed in sync. Even in the new position and even as Chan gently tilted Felix’s head to access his lips better, they kept the kiss slow, unheated. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finally parted, they looked at each other and smiled, Felix giggling lightly while leaning into Chan’s arms, his head on Chan’s shoulder, the older hugging him tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask you to be my main caregiver, but I guess I should ask you if you want to be my boyfriend too?” Felix said after a moment and laughed lightly, his smile so wide his eyes became little moon crescents, making Chan’s own smile widen even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. To both.” Chan said, leaning forward to kiss Felix once more. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>They slept together that night, snuggled close and legs tangled together as Felix lay half on top of Chan, head on his chest. They whispered soft things to each other before they fell asleep both with a smile on their lips. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>If they were woken up by Hyunjin loudly screaming ‘CALLED IT’ to the rest of the group, all of them gathered at the door to peek at the sleeping couple, it was all worth it. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
FIN<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed ~ &lt;3 Leave comments and kudos if you liked!</p>
<p>I plan on posting other chapters too, other stories featuring little Lix and Chan, but I still have to finish writing them yet, so if you liked it, stay tuned ~ (I'll eventually start a work for each pairing too, so stay tuned :)&lt;3 )</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you're curious: ~</p>
<p>~ Felix's little outfit: https://pin.it/3SFx9Rl<br/>~ Felix's koala pacifier (I couldn't find an adult one though): https://www.nuk-usa.com/nuk-space-orthodontic-pacifier-0-6-months-2-pack/2073170VM.html<br/>~ The move in 'Easy' that makes Felix slip (at 1:26, but feel free to enjoy Chan's fancam too): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlLvfD6Nr3A&amp;ab_channel=M2</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed ~ &lt;3 Leave comments and kudos if you liked!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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